the tree of woe

A few weeks ago I was sitting in a Starbucks, enjoying a lovely breakfast of coffee and a blueberry scone, when I noticed a gentleman get in line. He was wearing a shirt and tie, and seemed a little nervous, like he was going to a job interview or something. He seemed like anybody else there, just getting breakfast before starting his day, when I noticed something in his hand. It was a manila folder, not unusual at all, save for the writing on the tab of the folder. The folder was titled “Earthquakes.

Why a folder titled “Earthquakes”? He was too old to be in school(at least, too old to be in a school where he would have to do a report simply titled “Earthquakes.”) And he didn’t have the look of a seismologist. I can only conclude that he was a mad scientist, bent on the destruction of the world(or at least the destruction of California.)

The moral of the story is that supervillains need a complete and nourishing breakfast too, just like the rest of us. They’re not that different, after all.

I don’t like to blog about blogging, as that’s not my style.  I do want to mention, however, that I just changed the url of my feedburner feed. The old one will probably still work, but the new one is the official one. So, to my singular subscriber, if you ever have the urge, you can change the feed to http://feeds.feedburner.com/mcgladdery/woe instead of whatever it used to be.

McGladdery out.

I like sleeping. Besides the obvious reasons, I like it because every now and then you get a pretty neat adventure.

Every now and then, I get what is called a lucid dream. A few times a year, I’ll be dreaming, and during the dream, I’ll actually figure out that I’m dreaming. First, I’ll notice something very, very bizarre. A talking wastebasket is a pretty good clue(warning: talking inanimate objects could also indicate you’re watching a Muppet movie. Proceed with caution.)

Once I think I might be dreaming, I test my new hypothesis. I’ll try to do something impossible, like levitating, or saying something nice about Michael Moore. If it works, two things happen. One, I realize I’m dreaming, and two, out comes the lightsaber.

I like the new dollar coins. Once again, we’ve out-done Canada as far as the design of our currency goes. Their dollar coin has a bird on it. Ours has a President, and not just one President. All of them. That’s right. All the Presidents + Susan B. Anthony + Sacagawea > a bird. Looks like you just got the triple deke again, Canada.

It’s too bad that the dollar coin will never catch on, though. Actually, now that I think about it, I don’t care about the dollar coin, as I can’t remember the last time I actually used cash. We could switch to space-credits and I’d probably never notice.

I was thinking about Back to the Future II today(it’s much more efficient than actually watching it,) and I realized just how closer we are to 2015 than we are to 1985, and just how totally off-base the writers were. It’s not really their fault, though. It’s hard to predict the future. For example, exactly how Nostradamus successfully predicted the advent of the TripleSteak Burrito continues to amaze and confound.

It is ironic, therefore, that the worst prediction of the future comes not in the movie that deals with the aforementioned future, but in the first Back to the Future movie. When Marty steps up to the counter of the 1955 cafe and is asked what he would like to drink, he requests a “Tab.” When denied(and rightly so,) he then asks for a “Pepsi Free.” The man behind the counter responds with, “If you want a Pepsi, pal, you’re gonna pay for it.”

Maybe this joke worked in 1985. Meanwhile, here in 2008, I find myself in total agreement with the cafe employee. No, Marty, we’re not giving you a tab, and you’re expected to pay for your own Pepsis.