the tree of woe

I was reading my own blog earlier today, and silently reflecting on how witty and clever I am. I noticed that I’ve written a lot of sentences that make very little sense when taken out of context, and while that’s true of most sentences, this selection of statements from this very blog are particularly confusing, even in context. I present to you, the list:

• And he didn’t have the look of a seismologist.
• All the Presidents + Susan B. Anthony + Sacagawea > a bird.
• Even if you aren’t successful, at least you’ll have done something useful with all of that spare lead I’m assuming you have strewn about your place.
• All joking aside, I will admit that recently, my custom goody bags have been lacking a certain something.
• One of those is Aesop, and the other one is Beetlejuice, I’m just not sure which is which anymore.
• I guess my point is that if you need someone to dig some holes or if you have a ring that needs to be thrown into a volcano, you know who to call(me.)

I’ve been reading a lot of Shakespeare recently. The comedies are hilarious. Check this out:

BENEDICK

Lady Beatrice, have you wept all this while?

BEATRICE

Yea, and I will weep a while longer.

BENEDICK

I will not desire that.

BEATRICE

You have no reason; I do it freely.

BENEDICK

Surely I do believe your fair cousin is wronged.

Ha! Get it? “Your fair cousin is wronged”? Awesome. Adam Sandler would be a great Benedick.