the tree of woe

Looking for the perfect gift for your wife/husband/child/parent/neighbor/passing acquaintance? Look no further, because the McGladdery.org Gift Guide is here to help!

Are you or someone you love constantly harassed by deer and/or leprechauns? Are you looking for a new signature scent on those Saturday nights out? Or do you have thirty dollars that you want to be rid of, but setting fire to it is too time consuming? Look no further, and immediately order 32 fluid ounces of Coyote Urine.

Try picturing the face of your loved one when he or she opens their thoughtful gift. It will undoubtedly be an expression of thanks and gratitude, because now they won’t have to try and collect coyote pee themselves, like they’ve had to every other year. If you’ve ever tried to do that yourself (and who hasn’t?) you know what a chore it is. With this thoughtful gift, you’ll save your friend the time, trouble, and severe lacerations of doing it themselves. Now they can go out on the town confidently, knowing that no deer (or any other living thing) will bother them at all.

Looking for the perfect gift for your wife/husband/child/parent/neighbor/passing acquaintance? Look no further, because the McGladdery.org Gift Guide is here to help!

Do you have a special someone who is always complaining about their sinus cavity? Do they talk about how they wish there was an easier way to fill their sinuses with liquid, but sticking a garden hose up their nostril is too undignified? Would you do just about anything to stop their whining? Then look no further, because they need the:

Ancient Secrets Nasal Cleaning Neti Pot!

Your loved one will thank you every time they pour warm, salty water into their face with this wonderful gift idea. Notice that the box claims this neti pot has a “New Improved Design!” I’m not really sure what’s new about it. Perhaps the end used to be razor sharp, causing people to lacerate their nostrils at best, stabbing the underside of their brain at worst. Perhaps the last design came filled with bees. It’s hard to know, but rest assured that your loved one will be benefiting from all the latest advancements in neti pot technology.

It’s great fun at parties, too! Here’s a tip: Fill it with chocolate milk, and pour the milk into your head. Hold it up there until someone says something funny, then let it fly! It will be like 6th grade all over again.