Beard!
This is why I love having a beard:
- I look thinner. More specifically, it’s harder to tell if I’ve gained weight.
- It’s like having a built-in scarf at all times, even in the shower.
- I look smarter, especially when paired with my glasses. “Well, let’s ask him. He’s got a beard and glasses” is something I hear frequently.
- It brings me one step closer to doing a perfect Hemingway/Commander Riker/Zeus impression.
- I think I look scarier, at least until I open my mouth.
January 28th, 2010 at 2:03 pm
I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to have people repeatedly bypass you for advice as you watch them walk over and pick the brain of some random, bearded stranger with glasses.
“Why HIM,” I ask? “Sure he has a beard and glasses, but he’s wearing a shirt with a giant mustard stain. And where are his shoes??”
I’m just as smart as that guy. I just know it.
January 28th, 2010 at 11:28 pm
You ARE just as smart as that guy.
I will admit that I don’t get asked good questions. Since beards haven’t been in style for the last 150 years, most questions I get have to do with the topics of that era, such as, “Have you heard who replaced General McClellan as commander of the Army of the Potomac?”
February 1st, 2010 at 11:50 am
Add a bulging manila envelope to the mix and NOBODY will mess with you, my friend.
February 5th, 2010 at 5:49 pm
Thank you. If I can instill a sense of fear in just one person per day, I feel like I’ve done my job.