Peeps!
Easter is right around the corner (not literally. Easter is a designated unit of time of exactly one day each year, the first Sunday after the Paschal Full Moon which is the first moon whose fourteenth day is on or after March 21st. As such, Easter does not occupy three dimensional physical space, and therefore cannot be described as “around the corner” in a non-metaphorical way.)
… Yeah. Anyway, Easter is right around the corner (see above), and that means that you cannot enter any retail establishment on Earth without being immediately confronted by Peeps. If you follow the link to the Peeps website, you will have a virtual library of Peeps information at your fingertips, all of which will go unused as you sit mesmerized by the humorous and whimsical tuba solo they’ve wisely chosen to tightly integrate with their website. In fact, it has been playing in the background the entire time I’ve been writing this post. I’ve become somewhat immune to it, so I’ll go over some of the information that you have no hope of ever accessing yourself.
Some select Fun Peeps Facts. As the website itself claims, “If you love peeps, you’ll love these fun facts!”
Fact #1: “Loyal peeps fans love their peeps fresh, frozen, stale, and even on pizza!” Yes, loyal peeps fans aren’t discerning in the least! They’ll go to any lengths for peeps. You’d be better off standing directly between a momma bear and her cubs than getting in between a peeps addict and a disgusting, peeps-laden pizza.
Fact #2: “It would take over 172 million peeps bunnies end-to-end to circle the moon!” We know this because this is the most logical way to count peeps. Some companies sell their products in cases of 12, 48, even 144. Not us. When your local grocery store orders peeps, they order them by the lunar circumference.
April 2nd, 2009 at 12:38 am
Hilarious.
Next time you go to the store, would you please get me 1.62790697674e-07 of a lunar circumference of peeps? XOXO
April 2nd, 2009 at 12:40 am
P.S. Um, HELLO, did you notice the PEEPS Lenox China that is available? I think our registry has a glaring hole in it, don’t you?
April 2nd, 2009 at 8:04 am
If I went to a party and discovered they were serving peep-laden pizza, I would have no choice but to quarantine the building. No way could I let those peep people back out into the world…spreading their peep pizza propaganda.
April 2nd, 2009 at 4:32 pm
I don’t think anyone actually does that, to be honest. The website doesn’t cite their sources, so the truth is going to be rather hard to track down.
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Did you know if you put a Peep in the microwave for 20 seconds, it will blow up to roughly 3x its original size, then as soon as you take it out, will shrink back to less than it’s original size and will be nice and chewy-stiff when it cools?
I love Peeps…I know, I know…
April 5th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
That sounds good. I think a microwaved and then shrunken peep would be good on pizza.