Slap!
I don’t have a very good long term memory. I remember only about 3 things about my life before the age of 14. Fortunately, one of those three things is slap bracelets. If you are the correct age, you remember the slap bracelets. Actually, you don’t just remember them. You remember the overwhelming obsession with them.
See, kids, slap bracelets were one of the last fads in the era known as “the era of lame fads.” This was when the only kid on the planet with a cell phone was Zach Morris, and nobody had heard of the Internet yet. As you can imagine, we had a lot of free time. One of the things we apparently chose to do with that free time was to take a razor sharp piece of metal, cover it with a very thin piece of cloth, and repeatedly strike ourselves with it, preferably on the underside of our fragile, tender wrists. For some unknown reason, this was deemed as “unsafe,” and our constitutional right to assult ourselves with small, neon colored implements was denied. I remember the outcry, but what could we do? The schools banned them, the parents quickly followed suit. I’m pretty sure Super Nintendo came out a few weeks later, so that distracted us fairly well. Slap bracelets faded into oblivion as quickly as they arose, never to be seen again.
Or did they?
I found a website that actually sells slap bracelets. Imagine my shock. To quote the website,
Slap bracelets are the coolest thing! They’re fashionable, fun and can make a great addition to your custom goody bags!
That’s right! Slap bracelets are the perfect fashion accessory to go with your Hammer pants! Just be careful not to spill your Crystal Pepsi when you slap on the fun! Slap Bracelets: The official shiny object of Double Dare! All joking aside, I will admit that recently, my custom goody bags have been lacking a certain something.
March 16th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
I used to LOVE slap bracelets!
The coolest thing ever was when we’d go to the orthodontist and/or dentist and they’d just gotten new ones, so we weren’t stuck with either 1) the ugly ones no other kids wanted or 2) none at all.
March 16th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
Sigh. I don’t remember ever getting anything awesome at the dentist. Next time I go to the dentist, I’m demanding some sort of toy for my troubles.
March 17th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
I think you should. He/she owes you.
March 17th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
Seriously.