Super Soaker!
There were several ways that the social hierarchy was established when I was a kid. In the summer, one method was through the usage and ownership of Super Soakers. The ranking, from bottom to top, was as follows.
- No Super Soaker: You were ridiculed, and not to be included in epic water battles. Many people had more than one super soaker, and it wasn’t uncommon to be able to borrow a SS50, thereby saving face.
- SS50: This was the lowest grade of super soaker, but was still undeniably a super soaker, and you were granted access into “the club.” You were cool, but barely.
- SS100: A high grade super soaker. If you owned this, you were among the elite. This super soaker was desirable due to the interesting design and, having a larger bulk, was also more useful to use as a blunt object if necessary.
- SS200 and up: To alter a quote, “There’s nothing so like a General on a battlefield as a twelve year old with two gallons of water strapped to his back.” This was the ultimate Super Soaker, but it did have drawbacks. Chiefly, they rendered you immobile, as it’s hard to run, or even walk with a tank of water hanging from your shoulders. Kids with these guns tended to stay put near the middle of the battlefield, whirling around in place.
I was lucky enough to own a SS100. The importance of these water guns to the social standing of a child in the nineties cannot be overstated. Like a peacock’s feathers, or Apple products in Berkeley, Super Soakers publicly demonstrated your dominance over the rest of the herd.
