the tree of woe

As we near the close of the United States Mint “10 Years-50 Quarters”, or whatever they’re calling that program, I thought now wold be a good time to go back through some of the wonderful new state designs and take a closer look.

 

Florida: Here, we see a NASA space shuttle trying to land on their runway, where someone has mischievously placed a 19th century sailing ship. The theme is clear: tragedy. Totally avoidable tragedy.

 

Wisconsin: Wisconsin, unlike some other states, knows who they are, and doesn’t try to hide it. The only way this coin could have been more authentic is if they added Brett Favre holding a beer.

 

Hawaii: Boldly standing guard near Hawaii are two giant, stone statues of the ancient kings of Hawaii. Wait, my mistake. Those stone statues actually are on the river Anduin, at the entrance to Gondor. Looks like someone high up in the Hawaii state government is a huge Tolkien nerd. Way to go.

 

Alaska: This delightful and cheery image of a bear eating a live fish conveys this simple truth about Alaska: You’re next.

 

Massachusetts: This coin remembers the heroic “Minutemen.” The Minutemen were famous for their ability to fight at a minute’s notice. Unfortunately, they had horrible aim, usually shooting straight into the air, as this coin also remembers. I think it also took them less than a minute to get shot by British troops after their first, unsuccessful volley.

 

New Hampshire: The quarter dedicated to New Hampshire features the “Old Man of the Mountian”, a natural rock formation that collapsed three years after the quarter was released, thus robbing the citizens of New Hampshire of their one, back-of-a-quarter worthy feature. Also, you are instructed to live free or die.

 

North Carolina: North Carolina took a slightly different approach to their state quarter, and instead of highlighting anything interesting about the state, chose to reenact the airplane scene from “North by Northwest.” Good choice, North Carolina.

 

Rhode Island: This coin features a sinking ship. I don’t think Rhode Island understood how this whole program worked.

 

Vermont: This coin is almost as accurate as Wisconsin’s. Headed to Vermont? This is pretty much what you’re going to see and/or do the entire time you’re there.

 

Ohio: Follow the lead of these people: If you want to accomplish anything in life, first, you’re going to have to get out of Ohio as fast as you can.

 

Maine: “Welcome to Maine!” This is the cheerful greeting conveyed by this lighthouse. Notice that the ship has turned around once it realized where it was.

 

Michigan: Michigan figured it had all the time in the world to design a coin. Then, one morning, Michigan collectively shot out of bed and thought, “Oh no! Our coin is due today!” This was the best they could do in ten minutes.

 

California: California’s state quarter reenacts famous naturalist John Muir’s last moments, when he was savagely and fatally attacked by a ferocious bird. 

 

Utah: Oh no. Oh sweet goodness no. Those two trains are headed right for each other and Utah..  Utah is proud of it…

 

Montana: Montana is “Big Sky Country.” Apparently, it’s also “Even Bigger Dead Animal Country.”

Thus ends my state quarter review. Maybe I’ll do the others some other day. The other states can only hope, right?

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 15th, 2009 at 11:26 am and is filed under California, History, Lists, Michigan. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.