Golf!
I went golfing for the very first time last week. The result? I now love golf. Yes, I am a golfer. I attribute some of my success to a long history of golf video games, starting with the appropriately named “Golf” all the way through “Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2004.” I was surprised at the amount of golf terminology I was unfamiliar with, so as a service to the Internet, I present a list of golf terminology. Use at your own risk.
- Albatross
- n. A bird that signals good weather. It is inadvisable to kill it. It is equally inadvisable to try to wear it once you have inevitably killed it.
- Approach Putt
- n. A putt you left short.
- Inside the Leather
- n. The area directly inside your leather golfing chaps.
- Lay Up
- n. A shot taken after driving to the hole by leaping up and using one’s hand to drop the ball directly into the hole. Illegal.
- Match Play
- v. Strictly prohibited by Smokey the Bear.
- Texas Scramble
- n. First player to kill a cow with a golf ball wins.
- Wedge
- excl. A reference to the line, “Good shot, Janson!” To be used when your partner successfully hits an Imperial Walker with his tow cable.
